Guest of the Stable: InfotainMe

Dear Reform,
 How are you? 
How’s Mrs Reform?  Did you have a nice summer?  It has been kind of
anxious around here waiting for the FBI to come and solve our problems.  I
wonder if they will ever get here.  Kind of like Godot in that play,
no?  And what will happen when they do get
here?  Maybe they aren’t as mad as us, or not as mad at the same
things.  Then what?  Will we have to solve our problems all by ourselves?
 I hear the people we
want the FBI to deal with are going after Nancy Pincus’s Zoning Board seat
again.  Or, as they like to say, they are protecting the public from the
harmful effects of satire.  Politics has nothing to do with it.  So
they assure us. 
This is a little
different from the last time they went after Ms Pincus’s Zoning seat, wouldn’t
you agree?  Remember last time?  They were pretending that Beth
Mason’s Jewish sensitivities were ground into powder by a pun on Triumph of the
Will/Shills?  You know, Beth?  She’s the one wearing the crucifix in
the “here’s your crackers” photo-op after the hurricane was over?  Yeah,
that’s her. 
 Like last time, the
operation has that Lane Bajardi … style.  You start by removing satire
from its context – hoping people are stupid enough to forget that satire is
fully dependent on context.  Next, you eliminate all reference to humor as
if nothing could have been said in jest, ie, Ms Pincus really does want to meet the FBI at Mamouns for falafel
and then shoot some people.  You try to get people to think of it as a
kind of to-do list rather than a string of chatty absurdities. 
 Having thus set the
stage you pretend to be outraged at what remains on the page as though it were
meant in all seriousness.  This is the territory of a humorless nerd and 3rd
rate political hack.  And there’s none more humorless, nerdy, or 3rd
rate than our own aforementioned LB.  You can find him now, touring the
blogs defending the unconstitutional police action in his usual array of
comically inept internet “disguises.”
And again just like
last time, the gameplan is to raise the “issue” in the city council so it can
be on TV.  Beth and Lane do love TV so.  And Tim Occhipinti is so
coachable.  After all, if you were over 30, still sharing an apartment
with a bunch of other guys, and the crux of your day job was to try to ask callers
if their PC was plugged in before they demanded to speak with “whoever is in
charge over there” – you’d be pretty coachable too.
 After the August 24
‘performance’, I have a masochistic urge to
hear Timmy angrily deconstruct “Who’s on First?” 
 “Correct me if I’m
wrong – all he was asking was ‘who is on first base’.  Is that too much to
ask?  Wasn’t he entitled to that information – Lou Costello, a
credentialed journalist?  But was he given a straight answer by the team
administration?  No!  Instead he was given the runaround for 10
minutes just for asking a simple question!  Where’s the transparency?!?!”
(Insert pencil jab.)
Oh, that reminds me –
how this attempt to remove Ms Pincus from the ZBA by violating her 1st
Amendment rights is different from last time they attempted to remove Ms Pincus
from the ZBA by violating her 1st Amendment rights.  It’s that
thing Timmy said at the August 24 City Council meeting.  I believe the
words were “ongoing criminal investigation”?
 Yeah, about
that.  First, how did Mr Occhipinti know about it?  Ms Pincus was
told she would be arrested if she spoke about it.  But Mr Occhipinti could
talk about it in a public forum?  Why would the police volunteer that
information to Mr Occhipinti if they wanted it kept quiet?  How did Mr
Occhipinti find out?  Curious.  But that isn’t really the point.
After all this time I
have no expectation of anything resembling class, intellect, or respect for how
the taxpayer’s money is spent from Mr Occhipinti.  And I have scant higher
hopes for Mr Bajardi, notwithstanding that Mr Occhipinti makes him look like a
nuclear physicist.  It was Mr Bajardi
after all who recently sicced the police on Kurt Gardiner at the New Jersey
Symphony concert a few weeks ago for taking pictures of the sunset, so this
conduct hardly comes as a surprise.
But I do have higher
expectations for the Hoboken Police Department.  Namely, that they not
make themselves an accessory to what is clearly a politically-motivated
witch-hunt with the thinnest imaginable legal pretext; and that they not piss
away tax dollars performing free-lance intimidation of citizens as a favor to
political allies.
A word to you
officers.  You know who you are.  You went to the woman’s home and
conducted this interrogation in front of her child?  THIS interrogation
about a puff piece?  So some political hacks could clear a zoning
seat?  And then you told her you would arrest her if she talked about it
but you turned around and gave the details to Mr Occhipinti so he could talk
about them on Channel 78?
I am nominally a Democrat,
but most of my ideals are rather old-fashioned.  And I’ll tell you this –
in my book, you are not men.  Sorry, the bar is a little higher than that.
So, back to you, Mr
& Mrs Reform and the council majority thereof.  I do not really want
to hear a lot of hand-wringing about what you think Ms Pincus’s satire should
look and sound like.  If you have any talent for satire yourselves, by all
means give it a shot.  Otherwise, ahem, butt out.  Read, don’t read,
like, don’t like.  Those are your options.  But she is not a tool of
the administration or a servant of a political agenda.
I’m reminded of the
great quote from the author of “We,” Yevgeny Zamayatin’s letter to
Joseph Stalin requesting asylum. “True literature can only exist when it
is created, not by diligent and reliable officials, but by madmen, hermits,
heretics, dreamers, rebels and skeptics.” 
In other words, butt
Your focus should not be
what Ms Pincus should or shouldn’t say in her blog.  Rather, the question
POLITICAL OPERATION???  On the tax-payer’s dime?  WHY?  Who
ordered it?  Who approved it?  Where do they get off DENYING A
new Public Safety Director.  Looks like
he has his first assignment.
Got all that, Mr &
Mrs Reform?  Please don’t piss me off further on this little matter. 
Or so help me I will kick your cotton-candy asses from City Hall to the Tea
Have a nice day!
Now someone be a lamb
and phone in this terroristic threat.  Daddy’s tired.
InfotainMe is a long time observer of Hoboken politics.  If you wish to submit to “Guest of the Stable,” please limit it to 1000 words and email it to for consideration.  

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