Mason insider shocker: Beth Mason will resign

From the desk of the Ba-job-seeker, the not paid for friendship Mason minion :



Jan. 23, 2012
For more information, contact the Minion Maestro himself, the Dapper
Douche, the Ba-job-seeking Ba-job-seeker, Lane Ba-job-seeker, at

Councilwoman Beth Mason announced this morning she will step down from the Second Ward seat on the Hoboken City Council in deference to her protege, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-AZ, who looked to Counte$$ Ma$on for hope and inspiration following Rep. Giffords’ ordeal at the hands of a crazed gunman last year.

During her miraculous recovery, Rep. Giffords was inspired and motivated by tales of the similar ordeals of the Counte$$ here in Hoboken, who stood up for the public’s right to sit down and shut up about her six–figure street money and wheeling operations, even in the face of perils such as bloggers satirizing her and exposing her corruption. One such blog even went so far as to publish a satirical rendition of a fascist propaganda film that offended Counte$$ to her core. 

Congresswoman Gabby Giffords announced she is resigning.  Not to be outdone, Beth Mason has decided she will not sit idly by and allow Giffords national attention as a victim.  Here Beth Mason flashed her prop, a photo of her transposed on a famous propaganda movie poster on the Nazi government at last April’s city council debates.  

The fact that Counte$$ went on to spend the next eight months wielding the City
Council Presidency as if she was at the helm of a fascist dictatorship and attempted to ruthlessly control and micromanage what people could say at council meetings is in no way ironic in the context of her outrage at being depicted in such a manner. In last year’s City Council ward-election debates, Counte$$ Ma$on employed her usual subtlety in planting an “audience question” (by way of yours truly) asking who the candidates identify with most closely, and then held up, literally, the blog post in question as an example of why $he and Rep. Giffords are kindred spirits who underwent comparable torments — Rep. Giffords having been shot in the face and through the head in a deadly shooting spree that left her incapacitated for nearly a year, and Counte$$ having been made fun of on local blogs.

“Rep. Giffords clearly held me up as a model of inspiration, integrity and unwavering determination in the face of the unspeakable adversity of being written about on local blogs,” Counte$$ said in a statement. “Although she has never actually reached out to me, or returned any of my phone calls, and although I have received cease-and-desist letters from her attorney with regard to my comparisons, I have the utmost confidence that it was my many ordeals here in Hoboken that inspired
Rep. Giffords to recover as fully as she has, and made her the strong woman that she is today. I thereby feel compelled to give up my public office out of respect for Rep. Giffords’ decision to do the same. I thank the residents of the Second Ward for their support and will be invoicing Applied Housing residents for a pro-rated amount of the 3/4 of their votes I will in effect not be using and no longer be needing. Please remit payment upon receipt. Thank you very much.”

Counte$$ Ma$on added that with all due respect rumors she has put in an offer on a house in Arizona’s 8th Congressional district are pure conjecture and premature to respond to.

Bludiamonds is not paid for this announcement or for friendship with Beth Mason.

Talking Ed Note: Bludiamonds is a nut but holds the claim to being the funniest fruit in Hoboken.  That’s saying a lot considering all the competition.

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