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City: Two year sister town partnership search results announced

The City of Hobokenia announces:

After entertaining a number of potential sister cities in an exhaustive two year search, we are proud to announce a partnership with the city of Portlandia.

As sister cities meeting the requirements for the recently signed White House Protocols of Towns without Self-Indulgent Borders, we have renounced our city charter, the State and US Constitution and replaced it with a more forward internationalist view bereft of individualistic borders, plastic bags, and hamburgers while embracing our responsibilities on behalf of the world’s needy who have suffered at our historical ignorance and oppression against indigenous peoples of several culturally superior continents.

Mayor Fawn Limiter celebrated the announcement of the new bi-coastal agreement by adopting the annual Allergy Pride Portlandia parade as our own.  The parade will take place simultaneously in both cities and is scheduled for March 4th, 12:00 Pacific Time.

“Through our introduction of the Allergy Pride Parade, we have released the shackles of our prejudices against people who have suffered not only at the hands of our lighter skinned oppressive forefathers, but those who have been made to feel inferior by arbitrary lines announcing city borders making indigenous peoples from surrounding cities and countries suffering with hay fever feel really bad.”

Residents are urged to attend and be on time. Those who fail to do so will be noticed by the new Hobokenia Office of Resident Compliance.  You are required with your family or significant other of your choosing to occupy a four feet square area along the parade route. Those who fail to do so will have their right ankles booted.

Please review the parade clip below and contact the Resident Compliance Office if you wish to  join an appropriate group or float.

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