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Da Horsey Doth Confess

The loving hand of the Federal Trade Commission is looking into the deadly and dangerous world of bloggers to uncover their endorsements of any and all goods and services.  This dastardly practice (known to be practiced 24-7 at an uptown site specializing in disinformation) opens the door to potential fines of $11,000.  An article on Slate details this latest revenue enhancer for the Feds.

In the interest of full disclosure, it’s best to get this out in the open and avoid these costly fines.  So let’s lay it out on the table and be done with it.

I, Da Horsey (raising my right hoof) do hereby and certify:

a) Admit to accepting one free videotape of a candidate having sexual relations with others of unknown personage
b) Accepted one trojan condom from a campaign operative along with the whisper “Do you like my cousin?  She’s sitting there at the end of the bar?”
c) Offered a coffee invitation from a local reporter. We assume they’re buying.
d) Presented an option of unlimited popcorn at a campaign HQ in exchange for advertising
e) Took a flyer of unknown value on how to perform the Heimlich maneuver with the suggestion to write a story and promote the life saving act as the Pupie maneuver.
f) A free lifetime subscription to Hoboken411 for posting on their site about one candidate harshly, and another gloriously, subject but not limited to whoever is advertising that day.

Having received the following goods and services, any endorsement from said pony constitutes a full admission of transparency.  Any attacks on my lack of transparency at the barn, the racetrack, the mating stable or City Hall is hereby nullified in this admission.

Speaking of transparency, have you noticed how many candidates absolutely love talking about it?  Well not necessarily telling voters what it means in their platform but certainly they love to use the word.  It’s most frequently applied in the following manner.  “As an advocate of transparency, my opponent has yet again failed to meet the minimum standards of transparency espoused with muckety muck sincerity in the last campaign.”

You have to love this town.

Photo courtesy: Celeste Boucher

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